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Gotcha again! Actually, it's this year's edition of the . . .

2006.12.21 : Holiday Safe Driving Harangue

Yes, it's that time of year again. I'll make it brief: please exercise great care when driving. I've been driving around Atlanta myself for the last week, and am really kind of amazed by how difficult it is to remember that driving is the most dangerous thing you do in life. (I got behind the wheel just yesterday and thought, Ah, this isn't so bad – maybe I'll skip the Harangue.) But motor vehicle crashes are still the number #1 cause of death of Americans aged 1 - 44. And, basically, I'm just going to be really, really, really pissed off if anyone I love gets added to the big body pile. (My mental health is dodgy enough without throwing mourning and wild grief into the mix.)

Please don't think I'm commenting on your personal driving skills. If you were on a closed race course, I wouldn't worry. But you're sharing the road with every cell-phone-gabbing, radio-fiddling, latte-slurping, hot-rodding, angst-ridden, proto-suicidal, shoulder-chip-carrying, adolescent ass-clown in America. And that's a lot of ass-clowns.

Accordingly, you might care to review this article on how good drivers get killed. (Most common causes: head-on collisions from distracted oncoming drivers drifting into your lane – best defense is to stay on highways, which are partitioned; and people blasting through stop signs and red lights – look both ways even when you have the right of way.) As well as the results of my general safe-driving research. If not, here are the Cliff's Notes:

  • Focus on driving and minimise distractions – such as fiddling with the radio, eating, talking with passengers, etc.
  • Turn off your phone before you get behind the wheel.
  • Don't tailgate – you get there no faster, and a lot slower if you have to fill out an accident report, go via the casualty ward, etc.
  • If some ass-clown is tailgating you, pull over and let him pass – you might save yourself 40 years of neck pain.
  • Don't assume cross traffic sees stop signs and red lights – always look both ways, even with the right of way.
  • Stick to partitioned roads when possible; especially beware of rural routes, especially at night.
  • Don't push on when tired; pull over and take a rest – or check in somewhere. Motel 6 is 30 bucks; wrongful death suits are pricey.
  • Don't ever drive after drinking, or ride with anyone who has been drinking.
Happy healthy holidays, from yr pedantic and didactic friend, m
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