Dispatch from the Razor's Edge, the Blog of Michael Stephen Fuchs
2009.02.08 : Bale Out
The Dance Hall Rebirth of Christian Bale
(ROFLcoptering and NSFW)

And so I never have any idea how much more or less everyone else is tuned into pop/.net culture than me (rule of thumb: pop culture – a lot more; .net culture – a bit less). And but there's this whole Christian Bale blowing up on the set of Terminator: Salvation in this stunning, infantile, megalomaniacal, wildly profane, seemingly unending rant/temper tantrum – and lacking the presence of mind not to have it recorded and leaked out to the interwebs about .0005 seconds later.

And I sort of assumed everyone's probably heard it by now, but I just talked to Sara, and she hadn't, and she's pretty darned tuned in, and so maybe you haven't too. And moreover I woke up this morning and my flat was flooding again and but then I started listening to these Bale Rant mash-ups – which of course music-minded netizens started turning out about .0125 seconds after the audio came out – and really just laughing my head off, which was nice. And but so:

If you haven't heard the original rant, here it is in all its messianic glory. (Listen to this first.)

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And now here's the absolute king of mashups: it's called "Bale Out", by a guy called RevoLucian – and it's a gem, and completely danceable. It will probably be all over London's club scene by, like, tonight. (It's already on my MP3 player in my workout folder. You can download the MP3 yourself here if you want it.) If you go to this guy's MySpace page, you'll see he's been doing these famous-people's-audio-snippets techno mashups for awhile. The Bill O'Reilly one is also very good, but if you keep going back, you'll find they get worse. So, basically, this guy has been honing his craft – just waiting for the perfect celebrity soundbite to emerge. This man has found his moment.

The others I've heard (and seen) aren't quite as fantastic. But, if you're bored at work, here are some lists of others on The Telegraph and YesButNoButYes and, heck, the interwebs themselves.

Thanks for listening! And, seriously, man – you and I are done professionally.


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about
close photo of Michael Stephen Fuchs

Fuchs is the author of the novels The Manuscript and Pandora's Sisters, both published worldwide by Macmillan in hardback, paperback and all e-book formats (and in translation); the D-Boys series of high-tech, high-concept, spec-ops military adventure novels – D-Boys, Counter-Assault, and Close Quarters Battle (2014); and is co-author, with Glynn James, of the bestselling Arisen series of spec-ops zombie apocalypse dark action thrillers. The second nicest thing anyone has ever said about his work was: "Fuchs seems to operate on the narrative principle of 'when in doubt put in a firefight'." (Kirkus Reviews, more here.)

Fuchs was born in New York; schooled in Virginia (UVa); and later emigrated to the San Francisco Bay Area, where he lived through the dot-com boom. Subsequently he decamped for an extended period of tramping before finally rocking up in London, where he now makes his home. He does a lot of travel blogging, most recently of some very  long  walks around the British Isles. He's been writing and developing for the web since 1994 and shows no particularly hopeful signs of stopping.

You can reach him on .

THE MANUSCRIPT by Michael Stephen Fuchs
PANDORA'S SISTERS by Michael Stephen Fuchs
DON'T SHOOT ME IN THE ASS, AND OTHER STORIES by Michael Stephen Fuchs
D-BOYS by Michael Stephen Fuchs
COUNTER-ASSAULT by Michael Stephen Fuchs
ARISEN, Book One - Fortress Britain, by Glynn James & Michael Stephen Fuchs
ARISEN, Book Two - Mogadishu of the Dead, by Glynn James & Michael Stephen Fuchs
ARISEN : Genesis, by Michael Stephen Fuchs
ARISEN Book Three - Three Parts Dead, by Glynn James & Michael Stephen Fuchs
ARISEN Book Four - Maximum Violence, by Glynn James & Michael Stephen Fuchs
ARISEN Book Five - EXODUS, by Glynn James & Michael Stephen Fuchs
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