In the case of PoWM, it's probably worth noting that I actually omitted an enormous number of entries because they were genuinely too horrifying, or weird, or cruel (or particularly horrifying) to even have the heart or cruelty to present here. Not kidding there. You're welcome.
Why yes, I do have ironic pubic hair.
How cute and cuddly are those stuffed…….OH MY GOD!
Has the rohypnol kicked in yet?
Breeze? What breeze? I donít feel a breeze!
With this application, I pay pitchfork.com to buy the music they say I should listen to, and it all goes directly onto my iphone. Itís great. I canít tell you how much more time I now have to tye-dye my bootlaces.
Is it even legal to look this good?
The reason I love New York is because itís the only place where a white person like me can dress this way and not get his ass beat.
Itís like those shorts are managing to cover nothing and everything at the same time.
Look at this f*&%ing love connection.
Wouldnít you like to know what I plan on doing with this beer and olive oil?
Donít worry. She knows Iím rich.
Anyone know what aisle the freedom fries are in?
So, Iím wearing my 1985 New England Patriots t-shirt. And here is my Ralph Nader tattoo. Basically, my body is a shrine to epic losers.
I am speechless.
Weíre going to get so much p*&^% tonight, you guys!
What type of incident has to go down for you to get motivated enough to go out and get a custom shirt made with I Hate Queers written on it?
Get it? I have six pack abs…Cheap, trendy, gross tasting six pack abs.
Well, the important thing is that while this person is donating orgasms or taking d*ck breaks they are also looking out for the safety of those on motorcycles.
Does anyone want to ride on my giant gross vagina? No? Well then, what about this bike I made?
Someone call the dog police.
Someone call the cat police.
Am I the only one waiting for Joe Pesci to start going at this thing in the trunk with a kitchen knife?
Look at this potential eightsome.
Iím sure Chevrolet is pumped for the free marketing youíre giving them. Iím thinking about buying one right now just because your truck spells quality.
Throw me the rock and watch me steampunk these fools.
If you think big enough, and you work hard enough maybe you can get yourself a mobile home! But donít get too cocky, you ainít gettin you no double-wide! So cool it there mr. big time dreamer.
The weirdest thing is I found this shirt at a thrift store.
Hell no we ainít got no gays down here in Texas!…..Whats that? Oh, yeah, I made this vest myself. Looks good donít it?
Look at this f*&%ing politics connection.
Is it just me, or do mullets look 10x better with camo? These two are like the Mario and Luigi of Walmart.
Someone call child services.
Technically those suspenders are working. You donít normally see them used with jean shorts. Of course I usually donít see a belly apron just hanging out to say hi either.
Look at this f*&%ing Look at This F*&%ing Hipster party…
And this one…
And this one.
I will bet any money the fat kid gets more cake than Casanova here gets pussy.
These waffles better be organic.
Dudeís got a raccoon on his head. Let me repeat that…..DUDEíS GOT A RACCOON….ON HIS HEAD. Somebody tell Davey Crockett here he is supposed to skin it first, then put him in a Lysol bath.
Iím gonna CGI a bigger douche into this photo later in post.
Respect & Class Thanks For Showing Us That Youíre An Ass………on a side note, why is Ainít highlighted?
Mullet? Check. Stupid drinking t-shirt? Check. Proud of it? Check. Armed? Hell Yeah!
Look at this f*&%ing love connection.
If the entire word Bootylicious can easily be read across your ass, believe it or not, itís probably not actually bootylicious.
I can take off my shoes if I want to. Iím sheriff of this coffee shop on foursquare.
Hey, thanks for not even trying.
And, probably inevitably…
Weíre starting a new blog called ĎLook at these f*&%ing hipsters of Walmart.í
I didn't, incidentally, put even a dent in People of Walmart before I ran out of hipsters. So look for a truly horrifying "Best(?) Of PoWM" coming soon…