Well, there actually aren't all that many January people, this year, at my new-ish health club. (Then again, there aren't too many regulars either, at least at the carefully off-peak time I go).
But, yeah you know the January people:
- The young, pumped guys grunting, picking up way too much weight, not controlling it properly, then letting it crash to the mat like a construction site disaster. Then high-fiving each other.
- The huffing, panting, badly overweight people who haven't gotten five minutes of exercise since last January, dripping rivers of sweat onto the machines, and basically not being entirely fun to look at or be around.
- Middle-aged disco queens trotting in and out of 'Body Pump' and 'Legs, Bums, and Tums' in fresh-from-the-packaging lycra.
- Weird spiritual guys doing wildly kinetic things in the exiguous and perilous confines of the free-weight area. (What are those guys doing?)
- F*&£-heads gabbing on their mobiles in the changing room.
- Other f*&£-heads dropping dirty towels and empty water bottles wherever they stand, just because they're so important that someone else should pick up after them, and the rest of us should just wallow in their golden detritus in the meantime.
But, then again, everywhere there's a simple and irresistable solution to the January People: February. Then we won't have to see them again for another eleven months.
My new-ish club, by the way, is the Club & Spa at County Hall. You might recognise this (County Hall) as the classical building, with the colonnaded crescent, across Westminster Bridge from the Houses of Parliament. Look upon my club, punks, and tremble:
Here's the view I see from my stretching mat:
Here's what I see in the mirror, over my shoulder, when I'm lifting:
And a propos of nothing, except that I heard it yesterday, and it's going to remain in my workout playlist probably until the end of time, and because it just never ever gets old, here's "Bale Out" just one more time. You're welcome.
Download the song for free from the web site of its uber-talented creator, RevoLucian.