All The Very Best Of... Hot Chicks With Douchebags, on Dispatch from the Razor's Edge

Yes, Dispatch from the Razor's Edge trawls everybody's favourite micro-site, Hot Chicks With Douchebags, so you don't have to.

Actually, the fine folks at HCwDB have done most of the anthologizing work for us already – with their annual Douchy Awards, where they give special recognition to the very douchiest choads to grace their pages all year. (Plus, honestly the award categories – much like the names they give to their contestants – are half the humour value, priceless really.) Without further adieu, here's a best of the best (of the worst).

2007 Douchies

HCWDB OF THE YEAR: THE JOEY PORSCHE EXPERIENCE

MOST TRASHCAN-TO-THE-HEAD WORTHY: THE BELLS

DOUCHIEST TWINS: STEREODOUCHTONIC TWINS

DOUCHIEST GROUP SCROTE: THE DOUCHE PLATOON

DOUCHIEST EVERYBAG: RICKY

DOUCHIEST POPPED COLLAR: PINKY

GREATEST CRISIS OF MODERNITY: THE LONG JOURNEY

ORANGEST ORANGE: THE PROMPAS

SEXIEST LIBRARIAN GLASSES: SCROTEY OPIE�S HOTT

MOST ANNOYING �BAGLING: WHITE BY UNPOPULAR HAPPENSTANCE

2008 Douchies

HCWDB OF THE YEAR: THE METAPHYSICAL HOOLIGAN AND CARLY HOTT

HOTTEST HOTT OF THE YEAR: QUARTASIAN MIA SARA HOTT FROM "DEATHTONGUE"

PUREST STATE OF DOUCHE-ZEN: SAMURAI SCROTE

THE IRVING THALLBAG LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: FISH SLAP

MOST ANNOYING �BAGLINGS: MO� CHEEKS

ORANGEST ORANGE: MILLENNIUM �BAG

MOST INNOVATIVE NEW DOUCHE MANEUVER: MOUTH-SHIRT AB REVEAL

DOUCHIEST TATTOO + FACIAL HAIR COMBO: DOG

DOUCHIEST HUMAN SUPPOSITORY: X-LAX

GREATEST CRISIS OF MODERNITY: FUNG

2009 Douchies

HCWDB OF THE YEAR: SMOOT AND CRYSTAL

DOUCHIEST FACIAL EXPRESSION: THE PUNCH-FACE

JERZIEST JERZ: GUIDO BUTTCHINKSY

ORANGEST ORANGE: CHEETO MAN

DOUCHIEST HIPSTERBAG: THE HIPSTERBAG

DOUCHIEST NEW �BAG TREND: GROIN SHAVE REVEAL

DOUCHIEST DOUCHEBAGUETTE: LIPS MCGEE

DOUCHIEST �BAGCESSORY: BLACKBERRY BOB�S FOREARM BLACKBERRY

2010 Douchies

JERZIEST JERZ: D.J. JERZEY JACKOFFSKY

DOUCHIEST CREATURE FROM ANCIENT GREEK MYTH: THE DOUCHECLOPS

MOST EURO EUROBAGS: THE NIHILISTS

HOTTEST HOTT OF THE YEAR #2: ARIELLE FROM �THE FRATBROSEPHUS BROS�

THE DOUCHEBAGUETTE: SANDY FROM �INFLATABLE FRED�

THE IRVING THALLBAG LIFETIME DOUCHECHIEVEMENT AWARD: KING DOUCHUOUS THE IV

DOUCHIEST FACE: DOUCHE-FACE OF THE BEHOLDER

UNLUCKIEST DOG: �SPOT�

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Dispatch from the Razor's Edge is owned and operated by novelist, technologist, vegan, exercise junkie, classical liberal, rambler, and Londoner Michael Stephen Fuchs.

Fuchs is the author of the novels The Manuscript and Pandora's Sisters, both published worldwide by Macmillan in hardback, paperback and all e-book formats (and in translation); the D-Boys series of high-tech, high-concept, spec-ops military adventure novels – D-Boys, Counter-Assault, and Close Quarters Battle (coming in 2016); and is co-author, with Glynn James, of the bestselling Arisen series of special-operations military ZA novels. The second nicest thing anyone has ever said about his work was: "Fuchs seems to operate on the narrative principle of 'when in doubt put in a firefight'." (Kirkus Reviews, more here.)

Fuchs was born in New York; schooled in Virginia (UVa); and later emigrated to the San Francisco Bay Area, where he lived through the dot-com boom. Subsequently he decamped for an extended period of tramping before finally rocking up in London, where he now makes his home. He does a lot of travel blogging, most recently of some very long walks around the British Isles. He's been writing and developing for the web since 1994 and shows no particularly hopeful signs of stopping.

You can reach him on .

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Dispatch from the Razor's Edge is owned and operated by novelist, technologist, vegan, exercise junkie, classical liberal, rambler, and Londoner Michael Stephen Fuchs.


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